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Messages from Doula Kasey

Resources, motivation, and tools to help you and your loved ones have a well supported death
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11/27/2024 0 Comments

“How do I get people to talk about death and dying?”

Sometimes when we are ready to talk to our loved ones they don’t seem ready - or willing - to talk to us.

Maybe there’s resistance.


Anyone else experience the eye roll 
🙄 and hear comments like, “Why do you have to be so morbid.”

Maybe there’s denial.


“Stop, we’re not there yet. We don’t need to talk about that yet.”

These reactions can be difficult to hear and frustrating 
😤 if you feel a sense of urgency.

So let’s talk about three different approaches to these conversations.

First, and simplest…
think about what communication style has worked in the past.

Remember a time you’ve had a conversation with a spouse, child, or close friend that you were worried about and it went well.

What happened? Did you text first? Talk over the phone?

Maybe you were sitting side by side in a car, not looking directly at each other.

Honestly, one of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to choose a communication method that’s worked in the past.

Next, 
start by sharing.

For example, you could say something like…

“
I was reading an article recently about green burial, have you ever heard of that?...I thought it was really interesting.  I’m going to look into what it would take to set that up so it’s easy for whoever is making arrangements after I die."

That’s it!

Maybe the conversation continues, or maybe you just shared that little bit.

Either is a win.

Finally, if a personal approach might be too intimidating 
try bringing up examples from pop culture.

“
Have you seen the movie…one of the characters decided to have a farewell party instead of a typical memorial. I thought it was so moving that they got to hear their friends and family eulogize them while they were still alive. Would you do something like that?”

While you’re excited to share, it’s important to be prepared to listen too.

Take note of what your loved ones share with you.

Ask follow up questions.

You’d be amazed what you might learn.


So what do you think? Are you going to try to sneak in some casual death conversation at Thanksgiving?


If so, here are a few more conversation starter ideas for you:

  • Given a chance to pick your last meal, what would you eat?
  • If you could re-live one day in your life before you die, which would you choose?
  • After your dead, will you know how you died?​
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11/20/2024 0 Comments

Bringing Meals

This is so funny, today I’m sharing recipes.

I never thought this would happen, but I talked about gift giving and mentioned that folks were starting to fill my freezer with things my family can easily heat up after the baby arrives.

And some folks want to know what kind of meals I’m getting!

Which makes sense, 
one of the ways we support our friends and family during difficult times is to bring them meals.

Whether someone just had a baby, recently had surgery, or is caring for a loved one  here are some thoughtful things you can bring to them:


  • Soup! Any kind, in plastic containers that are easily frozen.
  • Breakfast sandwiches, precooked quiche, breakfast burritos. The theme here is hearty breakfast, already cooked and easy to reheat.
  • All in one pasta dishes like: mushroom or chicken cacciatore, ratatouille, or another combo of protein, sauce, veggie, & pasta
  • Meatballs!
  • Marinated, cooked meat & potatoes/rice/pasta
  • Dessert loafs. Banana bread, pumpkin chocolate chip bread, marble loaf, etc.
Here’s what I recently brought to a neighbor whose back was out (ouch!):

Cheesy Onion Quiche
Ingredients
  • 1 Pie Crust, chilled at least 2 hours, but not frozen (store bought is FINE)
  • 6 large eggs
  • ½ cup milk
  • 1 cup crumbled feta or goat cheese
  • 1 cup green onions/scallions, chopped
  • ¼ teaspoon sea salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 425°F.
  2. When the oven is hot, uncover the crust and prick the bottom all over with a fork. Line with parchment paper and fill with dried beans or pie weights (I keep dried beans in the house, I don’t have pie weights). Bake for 15 minutes, or until the edges of the crust are set.
  3. Remove from the oven and take out the parchment paper/pie weights/beans. Bake the crust for another 5 to 8 minutes, until the bottom is beginning to set. Remove from the oven and set aside.
  4. Reduce the oven temperature to 350°F.
  5. In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk. Add the feta, green onions/scallions, salt, and several grinds of pepper and stir to combine. Pour into the par-baked crust.
  6. Bake the quiche for 40 to 50 minutes, or until the eggs are just set. Allow to cool for 10 minutes before slicing and serving.
>You could put other veggies in this like mushrooms, spinach, bell peppers. Just cook them a bit before adding to the egg mixture.
>> You can sub white onion for scallion but dice it fine and sauté it before adding to the egg mixture.

Carrot and Ginger Soup
Ingredients
  • 1 tablespoon coconut oil (or other neutral oil)
  • 1 medium yellow onion, diced
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 3 tablespoons ginger, diced
  • 1 lb carrots, chopped
  • 24-32 oz vegetable broth
  • 14 oz coconut milk
  • ½ teaspoon salt (taste and adjust, you may need more if your broth is not very salty)

Instructions
  1. Heat oil in a large pot.
  2. Add onion, garlic, and ginger. Cook until it’s fragrant (~5 min).
  3. Add carrots and vegetables broth (24 oz if you want a thicker soup, 32 if you want a thinner style) And bring to a boil.
  4. Reduce heat to simmer. Cook until the carrots are soft (~25 min).
  5. Stir in the coconut milk.
  6. Use immersion blender to blend soup until smooth or add it to a regular blende in batches.
  7. Add salt to taste.
> It’s easy to add more vegetable broth if your soup turns out thicker than you want, but impossible to take away. Your first time making this err on the side of less broth and add more when you’re blending if the soup is too thick.

Making meals for others is about caring and intentionally creating something to support them in their time of need.

It feels good. 🥰

I like having a process (cooking) where I can actively thinking about my people.​

Also, as a recipient, it feels good to be taken care of.
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11/20/2024 0 Comments

Make-Ahead Meals for Caregivers: A Thoughtful Guide to Supporting Loved Ones Through Food

Caring for someone who is terminally ill, recovering from surgery, or adjusting to a major life event like the birth of a baby is one of the most generous and emotionally taxing things a person can do. During these times, even small acts of kindness—like showing up with a nourishing, easy-to-reheat meal—can make a huge difference.

This blog post is for anyone looking to show up for the caregivers in their life with compassion, thoughtfulness, and delicious support. Specifically, we’re diving deep into make-ahead meals for caregivers—what they are, why they matter, and how to make them practical, personal, and truly helpful.
Why Make-Ahead Meals for Caregivers MatterWhen you're in the thick of caring for someone, food can become a stressor. Grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning up all take time and energy—things that are in short supply for caregivers.

That’s where make-ahead meals for caregivers come in. These meals reduce daily stress by offering ready-to-go nourishment that doesn’t require much effort. They’re a way of saying, “I see you, and I care,” without needing to say a word.
These meals also:
  • Offer comfort and warmth in a tough season
  • ​Provide practical support when decision fatigue is real
  • Can be customized for dietary needs or personal preferences
  • Serve as a quiet reminder that someone is not alone

When to Bring Make-Ahead Meals to CaregiversThere are so many times in life when make-ahead meals for caregivers are appropriate and appreciated. Some examples include:
  • A friend or neighbor caring for a terminally ill parent
  • A new parent navigating sleepless nights
  • Someone recovering from a difficult surgery
  • A family member balancing full-time work and caretaking responsibilities
  • A grieving family in the days and weeks following a loss
You don’t need a perfect reason—just an open heart and a desire to support someone through food.
What Makes a Good Make-Ahead Meal for Caregivers?The best make-ahead meals for caregivers are:

  • Fully cooked and ready to heat: Ideally, something that only needs to be microwaved or reheated on the stove or in the oven.
  • Portable and easy to store: Meals that freeze well or come in containers that stack easily in the fridge or freezer.
  • Comforting, nourishing, and familiar: Think hearty pastas, flavorful soups, and cozy casseroles—food that hugs you back.
  • Adaptable: Meals that work for different diets (gluten-free, vegetarian, etc.) or that can be portioned individually for flexibility.

Ideas and Recipes for Make-Ahead Meals for CaregiversHere are some go-to meal ideas that I’ve made, received, or recommend for anyone looking to support a caregiver.

​
1. Soup (The Ultimate Comfort)
Soups are a gold-standard for make-ahead meals for caregivers. They freeze well, reheat beautifully, and can be deeply nourishing. Some great options include:
  • Carrot and ginger soup
  • Chicken noodle
  • Lentil and vegetable
  • Creamy tomato basil
  • Butternut squash with sage


Try This: Carrot and Ginger Soup 
Ingredients:
  • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • 1 medium yellow onion, diced
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 3 tbsp fresh ginger, diced
  • 1 lb carrots, chopped
  • 24–32 oz vegetable broth
  • 14 oz coconut milk
  • ½ tsp salt (adjust to taste)
Instructions:
  1. Heat oil in a large pot. Add onion, garlic, and ginger. Cook until fragrant (~5 minutes).
  2. Add carrots and broth. Bring to a boil.
  3. Reduce to simmer and cook until carrots are soft (~25 minutes).
  4. Stir in coconut milk and blend until smooth.
  5. Add salt to taste.
Tip: Err on the side of less broth—it's easy to add more, but tough to fix a thin soup.
This one is great for caregivers who might want something soothing, warm, and dairy-free.
2. Hearty Breakfast Options
Caregivers often skip meals or snack on what’s around. Delivering a 
make-ahead breakfast can be surprisingly impactful.
Top options include:
  • Breakfast burritos (wrap individually in foil)
  • Quiche or crustless egg bakes
  • Banana bread or breakfast loafs
  • Breakfast sandwiches (egg, cheese, and sausage or veggie options)
Try This: Cheesy Onion QuicheIngredients:
  • 1 Pie Crust (store-bought is great)
  • 6 large eggs
  • ½ cup milk
  • 1 cup crumbled feta or goat cheese
  • 1 cup green onions, chopped
  • ¼ tsp sea salt
  • Freshly ground black pepper
Instructions:
  1. Preheat oven to 425°F. Prick crust and bake with weights for 15 mins. Remove weights and bake another 5–8 mins.
  2. Reduce oven to 350°F.
  3. Whisk eggs and milk. Add cheese, onions, salt, and pepper.
  4. Pour mixture into crust. Bake 40–50 minutes until set.
  5. Cool 10 minutes before slicing.
You can add mushrooms, spinach, or sautéed onions for variety!

3. Pasta and One-Dish Meals
Hearty, one-dish pasta meals are ideal make-ahead meals for caregivers. They reheat well, are usually freezer-friendly, and feel like a full meal in one pan.
Ideas:
  • Baked ziti with spinach
  • Chicken or mushroom cacciatore
  • Ratatouille with pasta
  • Lasagna (meat or vegetarian)
  • Macaroni and cheese with veggies

4. Meat and Grain Combos
A simple combo of marinated, cooked protein with rice, potatoes, or pasta can go a long way. You can batch these in small containers for quick meals.
  • Lemon chicken + roasted potatoes
  • Pulled pork + brown rice
  • Meatballs + buttered noodles
  • Lentil stew + quinoa

5. Sweet Treats
Don’t underestimate the power of dessert. A banana bread loaf or chocolate chip pumpkin bread can lift someone’s spirits.
Great dessert-style make-ahead meals for caregivers:
  • Pumpkin chocolate chip loaf
  • Marble bread
  • Cinnamon rolls (bake, then freeze)
  • Apple crisp (pre-baked and frozen in foil)

Packaging Tips for Make-Ahead MealsA good meal can go bad fast if it’s not packaged right. Here’s how to ensure your care package hits the mark:
  • Use containers they can keep or recycle. Think casserole dishes from the thrift store, foil pans, takeout containers, or inexpensive reusable ones.
  • Label everything clearly. Include the name of the dish, reheating instructions, and any allergen info.
  • Freeze meals flat. Zip-lock bags laid flat in the freezer stack well and thaw quickly.
  • Group meals in sets. One for the fridge, one for the freezer—helps avoid food waste.

Personal Touches Go a Long WayWhen dropping off make-ahead meals for caregivers, consider adding a small note or care item:
  • A handwritten message or quote
  • A favorite tea bag or small treat
  • A reminder that they’re doing enough—and not alone


Creating a Meal Train or Support CircleOne person doesn’t need to do it all. Setting up a meal train is a powerful way to coordinate meals and support over time. Websites like MealTrain.com or TakeThemAMeal.com make it easy.
You can also:
  • Coordinate dietary preferences
  • Schedule deliveries on less hectic days
  • Avoid food overload early on, and offer support in later weeks


A Gentle Reminder: It’s About More Than FoodWhen you prepare make-ahead meals for caregivers, you’re not just giving sustenance—you’re offering rest, relief, and recognition. It’s an act of empathy made tangible.
Caregivers may not remember what you brought them. But they’ll remember that they were fed. That someone thought of them. That they weren’t invisible in the chaos.

Final ThoughtsIf you’re looking for a way to show love and support during someone’s hard season, few things are more meaningful than showing up with make-ahead meals for caregivers. Whether it’s soup in a mason jar, a tray of enchiladas, or a slice of banana bread, the intention behind it all is the same: care.
And that matters—deeply.

Have a recipe or tip you love for make-ahead meals? I’d love to hear from you. This conversation means so much to me. Let’s keep supporting each other—one meal at a time. 🥰
With great care,
Kasey
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    Author

    Kasey March is a Death Doula, End-of-Life Educator,  & Advocate 

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Doula Care for Dying, LLC. serves southern Vermont, New Hampshire, and nationwide virtually.
Call (802) 546-1110
Email: [email protected]