Messages from Doula KaseyResources, motivation, and tools to help you and your loved ones have a well supported death
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Sometimes when we are ready to talk to our loved ones they don’t seem ready - or willing - to talk to us.
Maybe there’s resistance. Anyone else experience the eye roll 🙄 and hear comments like, “Why do you have to be so morbid.” Maybe there’s denial. “Stop, we’re not there yet. We don’t need to talk about that yet.” These reactions can be difficult to hear and frustrating 😤 if you feel a sense of urgency. So let’s talk about three different approaches to these conversations. First, and simplest…think about what communication style has worked in the past. Remember a time you’ve had a conversation with a spouse, child, or close friend that you were worried about and it went well. What happened? Did you text first? Talk over the phone? Maybe you were sitting side by side in a car, not looking directly at each other. Honestly, one of the best ways to set yourself up for success is to choose a communication method that’s worked in the past. Next, start by sharing. For example, you could say something like… “I was reading an article recently about green burial, have you ever heard of that?...I thought it was really interesting. I’m going to look into what it would take to set that up so it’s easy for whoever is making arrangements after I die." That’s it! Maybe the conversation continues, or maybe you just shared that little bit. Either is a win. Finally, if a personal approach might be too intimidating try bringing up examples from pop culture. “Have you seen the movie…one of the characters decided to have a farewell party instead of a typical memorial. I thought it was so moving that they got to hear their friends and family eulogize them while they were still alive. Would you do something like that?” While you’re excited to share, it’s important to be prepared to listen too. Take note of what your loved ones share with you. Ask follow up questions. You’d be amazed what you might learn. So what do you think? Are you going to try to sneak in some casual death conversation at Thanksgiving? If so, here are a few more conversation starter ideas for you:
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11/20/2024 0 Comments Bringing MealsThis is so funny, today I’m sharing recipes.
I never thought this would happen, but I talked about gift giving and mentioned that folks were starting to fill my freezer with things my family can easily heat up after the baby arrives. And some folks want to know what kind of meals I’m getting! Which makes sense, one of the ways we support our friends and family during difficult times is to bring them meals. Whether someone just had a baby, recently had surgery, or is caring for a loved one here are some thoughtful things you can bring to them:
Cheesy Onion Quiche Ingredients
>> You can sub white onion for scallion but dice it fine and sauté it before adding to the egg mixture. Carrot and Ginger Soup Ingredients
Making meals for others is about caring and intentionally creating something to support them in their time of need. It feels good. 🥰 I like having a process (cooking) where I can actively thinking about my people. Also, as a recipient, it feels good to be taken care of. 11/20/2024 0 Comments Make-Ahead Meals for Caregivers: A Thoughtful Guide to Supporting Loved Ones Through FoodCaring for someone who is terminally ill, recovering from surgery, or adjusting to a major life event like the birth of a baby is one of the most generous and emotionally taxing things a person can do. During these times, even small acts of kindness—like showing up with a nourishing, easy-to-reheat meal—can make a huge difference. This blog post is for anyone looking to show up for the caregivers in their life with compassion, thoughtfulness, and delicious support. Specifically, we’re diving deep into make-ahead meals for caregivers—what they are, why they matter, and how to make them practical, personal, and truly helpful. Why Make-Ahead Meals for Caregivers MatterWhen you're in the thick of caring for someone, food can become a stressor. Grocery shopping, cooking, and cleaning up all take time and energy—things that are in short supply for caregivers. That’s where make-ahead meals for caregivers come in. These meals reduce daily stress by offering ready-to-go nourishment that doesn’t require much effort. They’re a way of saying, “I see you, and I care,” without needing to say a word. These meals also:
When to Bring Make-Ahead Meals to CaregiversThere are so many times in life when make-ahead meals for caregivers are appropriate and appreciated. Some examples include:
What Makes a Good Make-Ahead Meal for Caregivers?The best make-ahead meals for caregivers are:
Ideas and Recipes for Make-Ahead Meals for CaregiversHere are some go-to meal ideas that I’ve made, received, or recommend for anyone looking to support a caregiver. 1. Soup (The Ultimate Comfort) Soups are a gold-standard for make-ahead meals for caregivers. They freeze well, reheat beautifully, and can be deeply nourishing. Some great options include:
2. Hearty Breakfast Options Caregivers often skip meals or snack on what’s around. Delivering a make-ahead breakfast can be surprisingly impactful. Top options include:
3. Pasta and One-Dish Meals
Hearty, one-dish pasta meals are ideal make-ahead meals for caregivers. They reheat well, are usually freezer-friendly, and feel like a full meal in one pan. Ideas:
4. Meat and Grain Combos A simple combo of marinated, cooked protein with rice, potatoes, or pasta can go a long way. You can batch these in small containers for quick meals.
5. Sweet Treats Don’t underestimate the power of dessert. A banana bread loaf or chocolate chip pumpkin bread can lift someone’s spirits. Great dessert-style make-ahead meals for caregivers:
Packaging Tips for Make-Ahead MealsA good meal can go bad fast if it’s not packaged right. Here’s how to ensure your care package hits the mark:
Personal Touches Go a Long WayWhen dropping off make-ahead meals for caregivers, consider adding a small note or care item:
Creating a Meal Train or Support CircleOne person doesn’t need to do it all. Setting up a meal train is a powerful way to coordinate meals and support over time. Websites like MealTrain.com or TakeThemAMeal.com make it easy. You can also:
A Gentle Reminder: It’s About More Than FoodWhen you prepare make-ahead meals for caregivers, you’re not just giving sustenance—you’re offering rest, relief, and recognition. It’s an act of empathy made tangible. Caregivers may not remember what you brought them. But they’ll remember that they were fed. That someone thought of them. That they weren’t invisible in the chaos. Final ThoughtsIf you’re looking for a way to show love and support during someone’s hard season, few things are more meaningful than showing up with make-ahead meals for caregivers. Whether it’s soup in a mason jar, a tray of enchiladas, or a slice of banana bread, the intention behind it all is the same: care. And that matters—deeply. Have a recipe or tip you love for make-ahead meals? I’d love to hear from you. This conversation means so much to me. Let’s keep supporting each other—one meal at a time. 🥰 With great care, Kasey |
AuthorKasey March is a Death Doula, End-of-Life Educator, & Advocate Archives
June 2025
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Doula Care for Dying, LLC. serves southern Vermont, New Hampshire, and nationwide virtually.
Call (802) 546-1110
Email: [email protected]
Call (802) 546-1110
Email: [email protected]