If you are caring for someone who is dying, you’ve probably discovered that the emotional landscape at the end of life is not simple. Many caregivers expect a kind of serene clarity—a gentle settling, a sense of emotional completion. But real end of life emotions are rarely tidy. They move. They contradict. They shift and circle and evolve.

And that doesn’t mean something is wrong.

Today, I want to share a story from my work as an end-of-life doula because it reveals something essential about supporting someone who is dying. It’s a story about holding two completely different truths at the same time—and why that emotional complexity is not a sign of unrest, but of being fully human.

We’re living in a time when so many of us feel stretched thin — caregivers, hospice volunteers, end-of-life doulas, clergy, friends, and family members trying to hold one another up through it all.
The world feels loud, fractured, and sometimes hopeless. And beneath that noise, I’ve noticed a quieter, more dangerous trend making its way into our deathcare communities: nihilism.
Before I explain what I mean, I want to start with a story.