Things Are Still Hard — Completing The Stress Cycle In Uncertain Times

I want to start by saying this plainly: things are still hard.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, activated, or worn down by the state of the world—or by the quiet, relentless demands of caregiving—you’re not alone.
When things feel overwhelming—as they do in this moment—I can feel hopelessness creeping in. One of the ways I know to respond to that feeling is by using my skills to be of service to others. Sharing what I’ve learned through end-of-life care and grief support is one of the ways I try to be of service.
So while I want to be honest about the difficulty, I also want to share some resources here that I hope may be supportive for you.
And because life is full of contradictions, it feels important to name that even during hard seasons, moments of joy still exist. We recently had a massive snow day, and my youngest learned how to walk. There has been laughter, wonder, and that particular kind of joy that lives right alongside everything else.
Watching a child take their first steps is a reminder that growth and tenderness continue, even when everything else feels uncertain.
She was missing her right sock.
The moment was imperfect, ordinary, and deeply grounding.

Carrying Fear, Sorrow, and Vigilance

Many people are carrying fear and sorrow about the erosion of rights and the harm being done in our communities.
People killed during peaceful protests.
Children taken from their families.
It overwhelms me.
I feel it as a heaviness, a buzzing, a kind of vigilance that doesn’t turn off just because I step away from the news.
This feeling is common in grief and caregiving, especially in end-of-life care—where love, responsibility, and uncertainty live side by side.
When you are caring for someone who is dying, your body stays alert. It’s trying to protect something precious.
Love keeps you present, but the body pays a price for that constant readiness.

The Stress Cycle: What’s Happening in the Body During Chronic Stress

This experience of feeling “activated” in your body, even when the immediate threat isn’t right in front of you, has a name. It’s part of what’s called the stress cycle.
The concept of the stress cycle is described in Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, which explains how stress is not just emotional, but physiological. One of the core messages of the book is that stress isn’t just a feeling or a single event—it’s a physiological process.
Here’s a simplified way to think about it.
Imagine you’re out for a walk. You turn a corner and—there is a tiger.
Your nervous system does exactly what it was designed to do. Alarms go off. Stress hormones flood your body, preparing you to run, hide, or fight.
If you escape the tiger and survive, the stress cycle completes.
Often, that completion happens through physical movement—running, breathing hard, collapsing somewhere safe. Your body gets the message: I’m safe now.
Modern stress is different.
It comes through headlines, policies, videos, and stories of harm. Our nervous systems respond the same way, but there’s no clear endpoint. No sprint. No obvious moment where the body can say, I survived.
For caregivers—especially those caring for someone who is dying—this can be even more pronounced. There may not be one acute stressful moment, but rather a long stretch of vigilance that lasts weeks, months, or years.

Completing the Stress Cycle

Love keeps us present. It helps us show up.
But the body still needs a way to come down from constant alert.
That’s where the idea of completing the stress cycle comes in.
Oregon Health & Science University (OHSU) has developed a free handout on completing the stress cycle. It outlines simple, evidence-informed ways to help your body move from activation back toward safety.
These include:

• Physical movement
• Slow, intentional breathing
• Connection with others
• Creative expression
• Rest
• Crying or laughter
• Time in nature

None of these strategies fix our world.
They don’t undo injustice or make grief disappear.
What they can do is help your body metabolize stress so you can continue showing up—for yourself, for the people you love, and for the work that matters to you.

​Caregiving in Real Life

In caregiving, stress completion often looks ordinary and imperfect.
There may be closeness, tenderness, and relief--alongside physical strain and exhaustion.
Care is like that.
There is tenderness and strain at the same time. Relief and exhaustion. Love and ache living in the same body.
Completing the stress cycle isn’t about doing things perfectly. It’s about noticing what your body is carrying and offering it moments of release, again and again.

Support for Grief, Caregiving, and Chronic Stress

My wish for you is simple:
That today you find moments where you feel safe, welcome, and loved.
That you remember community matters.
And that you don’t have to carry everything alone.
If you’re grieving, caregiving, or walking alongside someone at the end of life, support matters—and you don’t have to navigate it alone.
With care,
Kasey

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